"..но если паук на сердце моем не сидит, то чьи это черные лапки торчат у меня из груди?.."
Шляясь по интернетам, часто попадаю на странички с просроченными хостингами, но такого веселого напоминания владельцу сайта заплатить за него еще не видела 
101 Excuses
for not paying a
Long outstanding account, invoice, or bill :
1) Who? No, I'm not him. I'm the neighbour.
2) You have me mixed up with some other guy with the same name.
3) The magazine you submitted the article we hired you to write should pay you. We shouldn't have to.
4) I didn't get the notice in time.
5) I asked a debtor if he was employed and he said "no". I asked him how he was paying his bills-to which he replied "I dont have any bills" - like what do you think that this is?
6) The fed's took it as a prime clue to a murder.
7) What? Who do you want? I'm just the babysitter...
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8) As it pertains to the damage existing on an automobile after the lease expires and the vehicle conditon report is completed. "I live in New York. Dents to the bumpers and scrathes on the sides of my vehicle are "Normal Wear and Tear".
9) As it pertains to the deficency of an automobile lease after repossesion. "I was only renting the car. You people must be crazy"!
10) Bills?? Kids must have stolen it from the mailbox. We lose a lot of bills that way.
11) Who? You have the wrong number.
12) My wife is in the looney bin, I have no money, and no one will buy my boat, that I own with two other people, and even if I sell the boat my third is only $100 which is only 1/10 of what I owe!!!
13) It wasn't my fault! Honest. I ran out of gas! I had a flat tire! I didn't have enough money for cab fare! My tux didn't come back from the cleaners! An old friend came in from out of town! Someone Stole my car! There was an earthquake! A terrible flood! Locusts! IT WASN'T MY FAULT I SWEAR TO GOD!!!!!
14) I'm on a fixed income, just charged $10,000 on my credit card and bought a new car...can't understand why I can't pay my bills.
15) Uh.... was that a "BILL"? :-)
16) I don't pay my bills to collection agencies...I'm afraid that the high school dropouts, unwed crack mothers, and unfulfilled housewives which they employ will forget how to use a computer and delete me from existence. Besides, I NEVER answer the phone when the caller I.D. says "UNAVAILABLE".
17) The bill didn't come on time.
18) I skipped a couple of doses of my Prozac.
19) I can't be overdrawn, I still have checks left.
20) I had a debtor tell me she was not liable for the bill because she was under bankruptcy and was not mentally competant to sign any legal documents. I wonder how she incurred the debts!
21) I have better things to do than pay my debts.
22) I'm Pregnant and Out of a job because My Employeer decided for me to not work anymore.
23) I Forgot!
24) I'm a LITIGATION Partner at a 10 plus attorney firm and before I'D be done countersuing you and tying up you and your business up with expensive and time consuming litigation, alleging violations on your part of the FDCPA, FCRA, TIL, ADA, TITLE VII VIOLATIONS, UCC ARTICLES TWO, THREE AND NINE CAUSES OF ACTION ETC, I WOULDN'T LET YOU OFF THE HOOK FOR LESS THAN A GOOD 25,000 - 50,000 settlement which you'd pay me!! And THAT'S ASSUMING I REALLY OWED YOU EVERY PENNY YOU CLAIMED TO BE DUE and had no meritorious defenses whatsoever.
25) Child support has put a lien on my pending personal injury case settlement. (debtor wasn't sure if the child is his).
26) You continued to sell me merchandise even after some inovoices were past due. Therefore, since you sold us goods while we were already past our terms, we don't owe you for anything we bought after the original invoice was past due!
27) I had someone tell me they lost their job AND their husband lost HIS job and that both their kids had to have braces and that they were divorcing just to get insurance through medicaid.
28) I would love to pay the bill, but I don't want to!
29) You want money? Yeh and the people in hell want ice water too.
30) I don't have any money!
31) My kid used it for toilet paper because we were out, and he flushed it. Now I have to use the money to buy a plunger.
32) My mother's check bounced how can I pay you I have no money!!!!
33) Your looking for my father he died a year ago.
34) Patient stated that they had a case of "Hardship" and could not pay their medical bill. The bill was for $136.00, the patient was properly diagnosed and treated. The reason for hardship was because this individual had an income of 600.00 per month. Expenses came to 500.00 per month. The individual had an outstanding lawyer fee of $1,500.00 therefore, did not have the "resourses" to pay the medical fee that saved her life.
35) That's my wife's bill, and she no longer lives here.
36) Didn't I already send that in?
37) I just sent that bill out with the morning mail.. Isn't your address 1313 Mockingbird Lane, New York, New Jersey, France? Sorry I'll get you a new check as soon as the other one is returned.
38) I'm positive I signed it!
39) My brother-in-law was supposed to loan me the money but didn't. He didn't tell me he didn't have it until the day the check was cashed. My half of the money was in the bank. His half bounced.
40) The man that came to my door wrote me a reciept for it and now he doesn't work for you any more.
41) You can't get blood from a turnip. MY RESPONSE: I didn't make the loan to a vegetable!
42) I thought my mother-in-law's, aunts, fathers, son already paid that bill?
43) As one of our Russian clients said: "You only have to meet the requirements of a contract if it is convenient for you!"
44) I filed bankruptcy and it hasn't been discharged yet so I'll just call my lawyer and have him add you to the list.
45) My bankruptcy file # is... No, you weren't on the claim but my lawyer will add you.
46) I'm an unemployed debt collector who has worked for everyone from the IRS, NYS Taxation to City Marshals, lawyers, and collection agencies--gotta job buddy?
47) I don't remember creating that bill! Therefore, I shouldn't have to pay for it.
48) Your check went in the phone company envelope by mistake. You must have their check. Please sort it out with them.
49) Since you have already reported it to the credit bureau, I may as well wait till it drops off.
50) I have AIDS and I am dying.
51) According to the FDCPA you can't call me at work... But sir this is a commercial debt of your business not covered by the FDCPA..Well call me at home then, I can't talk about this in front of my employees.
52) If I pay you, then I won't have any money to pay my current bills.
53) My mother had a brain annurism. I am her sole provider and I am unable to work. True excuse!
54) The chopper crashed and I lost my wallet.
55) My girlfriends are real expensive, and you'd never dress like them no matter how much money I sent you.
56) I don't give a ____ about you. What can you do? Put me in jail for not paying?
57) You can't get blood from a stone!!
58) You can't get blood from a turnip!
59) Went to have my palm read and the lady said I had a very short life line, so I figured I'm going to die very soon, so why bother...
60) Well, what about the $500.00 you owe ABC Company? "What $500.00!? I only owe them $200.00"!
61) My dad, brother, nephew, son, two cousins, and my self are all named so and so. This must be one of their bills.
62) I never open anything from anyone asking for money.
63) The military sent me to war and they wouldn't deliver my pay check on the battle field.
64) I've been on vacation for the past 3 months and I haven't had time to see my bills...
65) Things are hard right now. The only asset I can liquidate is my car which I need to go to work.
66) I had credit disability insurance, but rather than pay, they wrote me off as a loss... where's a lawyer?
67) "I'm sorry, I have the check right here in my wallet, 'cause I'd forgotten to mail it."
68) "I don't care about credit on Earth, as long as I've got credit in Heaven."
69) When I filled the balloons you sold me with helium, they all floated away, so I'm not paying you.
70) You're looking for payment of a July invoice? (gails of laughter) We're just starting to pay last December's invoices.
71) My ex-wife took it to get even at me.
72) Aliens abducted it!
73) My mother fell out of my car in route to pay my bill.
74) My dog ate it.
75) Mr. So and So didn't pay me for the contract work you subcontracted out from me so I can't pay you.
76) My sick grandmother needs a cornea transplant. I gave her the money so she can read her Bible.
77) I have just been shot by an intruder. I am losing blood quickly. Can you call back later?
78) We didn't know we had a contract with your company... YES, we requested services... YES, you performed those services... YES, we have your invoice, but we're not going to pay it because we didn't know we contracted with you!
79) I only pay the "good" bills!
80) I am so offended that they referred their best customer to an agency, I simply refuse to pay.
81) Paying bills is against my religious beliefs.
82) I asked for a "massage" but all I got was a massage!
83) I'm not paying because you called my job.
84) Can't pay this 6 month old bill because I've been out of work for 4 years.
85) I quit my job... I've been on vacation.
86) She's not home, she went to Vegas.
87) My bookkeeper had an accident, she was trying to put on a sports bra, sprained her neck, and has to wear a cervical collar so she can't look down to fill out checks.
88) You spoke to me in a hateful manner, so I'm not paying.
89) You don't deal in real money, it's all on the computer.
90) I don't remember... I don't know.. I don't care... I don't.
91) Your interest is too high.
92) I'm behind?!?! ..Well, why didn't you call sooner?!?!
93) My septic tank backed up and had to be replaced.
94) I'm on disability due to: stress, being overweight, PMS.
95) I'm an illegal immigrant, my soc sec # is wrong and my name is not O'hara, not even the INS knows where I am and I'm moving so try to find me.
96) The bank my money was in, got robbed.
97) I can't take a message, my wife left me and took the pencil with her.
98) Its only money. The IRS gets most of it and I do like to eat.
99) It wore out before it was supposed to, so I'm not going to pay anymore!
100) My wife had an affair with my banker and decided to bounce my checks just like he did her.
101) I'm falling....and I can't get up!!
With thanks to
Total Recall Message Center, Inc. [www.trmcweb.com]
This website has been suspended awaiting long overdue payment of their account
101 Excuses
for not paying a
Long outstanding account, invoice, or bill :
1) Who? No, I'm not him. I'm the neighbour.
2) You have me mixed up with some other guy with the same name.
3) The magazine you submitted the article we hired you to write should pay you. We shouldn't have to.
4) I didn't get the notice in time.
5) I asked a debtor if he was employed and he said "no". I asked him how he was paying his bills-to which he replied "I dont have any bills" - like what do you think that this is?
6) The fed's took it as a prime clue to a murder.
7) What? Who do you want? I'm just the babysitter...
взять на заметку
8) As it pertains to the damage existing on an automobile after the lease expires and the vehicle conditon report is completed. "I live in New York. Dents to the bumpers and scrathes on the sides of my vehicle are "Normal Wear and Tear".
9) As it pertains to the deficency of an automobile lease after repossesion. "I was only renting the car. You people must be crazy"!
10) Bills?? Kids must have stolen it from the mailbox. We lose a lot of bills that way.
11) Who? You have the wrong number.
12) My wife is in the looney bin, I have no money, and no one will buy my boat, that I own with two other people, and even if I sell the boat my third is only $100 which is only 1/10 of what I owe!!!
13) It wasn't my fault! Honest. I ran out of gas! I had a flat tire! I didn't have enough money for cab fare! My tux didn't come back from the cleaners! An old friend came in from out of town! Someone Stole my car! There was an earthquake! A terrible flood! Locusts! IT WASN'T MY FAULT I SWEAR TO GOD!!!!!
14) I'm on a fixed income, just charged $10,000 on my credit card and bought a new car...can't understand why I can't pay my bills.
15) Uh.... was that a "BILL"? :-)
16) I don't pay my bills to collection agencies...I'm afraid that the high school dropouts, unwed crack mothers, and unfulfilled housewives which they employ will forget how to use a computer and delete me from existence. Besides, I NEVER answer the phone when the caller I.D. says "UNAVAILABLE".
17) The bill didn't come on time.
18) I skipped a couple of doses of my Prozac.
19) I can't be overdrawn, I still have checks left.
20) I had a debtor tell me she was not liable for the bill because she was under bankruptcy and was not mentally competant to sign any legal documents. I wonder how she incurred the debts!
21) I have better things to do than pay my debts.
22) I'm Pregnant and Out of a job because My Employeer decided for me to not work anymore.
23) I Forgot!
24) I'm a LITIGATION Partner at a 10 plus attorney firm and before I'D be done countersuing you and tying up you and your business up with expensive and time consuming litigation, alleging violations on your part of the FDCPA, FCRA, TIL, ADA, TITLE VII VIOLATIONS, UCC ARTICLES TWO, THREE AND NINE CAUSES OF ACTION ETC, I WOULDN'T LET YOU OFF THE HOOK FOR LESS THAN A GOOD 25,000 - 50,000 settlement which you'd pay me!! And THAT'S ASSUMING I REALLY OWED YOU EVERY PENNY YOU CLAIMED TO BE DUE and had no meritorious defenses whatsoever.
25) Child support has put a lien on my pending personal injury case settlement. (debtor wasn't sure if the child is his).
26) You continued to sell me merchandise even after some inovoices were past due. Therefore, since you sold us goods while we were already past our terms, we don't owe you for anything we bought after the original invoice was past due!
27) I had someone tell me they lost their job AND their husband lost HIS job and that both their kids had to have braces and that they were divorcing just to get insurance through medicaid.
28) I would love to pay the bill, but I don't want to!
29) You want money? Yeh and the people in hell want ice water too.
30) I don't have any money!
31) My kid used it for toilet paper because we were out, and he flushed it. Now I have to use the money to buy a plunger.
32) My mother's check bounced how can I pay you I have no money!!!!
33) Your looking for my father he died a year ago.
34) Patient stated that they had a case of "Hardship" and could not pay their medical bill. The bill was for $136.00, the patient was properly diagnosed and treated. The reason for hardship was because this individual had an income of 600.00 per month. Expenses came to 500.00 per month. The individual had an outstanding lawyer fee of $1,500.00 therefore, did not have the "resourses" to pay the medical fee that saved her life.
35) That's my wife's bill, and she no longer lives here.
36) Didn't I already send that in?
37) I just sent that bill out with the morning mail.. Isn't your address 1313 Mockingbird Lane, New York, New Jersey, France? Sorry I'll get you a new check as soon as the other one is returned.
38) I'm positive I signed it!
39) My brother-in-law was supposed to loan me the money but didn't. He didn't tell me he didn't have it until the day the check was cashed. My half of the money was in the bank. His half bounced.
40) The man that came to my door wrote me a reciept for it and now he doesn't work for you any more.
41) You can't get blood from a turnip. MY RESPONSE: I didn't make the loan to a vegetable!
42) I thought my mother-in-law's, aunts, fathers, son already paid that bill?
43) As one of our Russian clients said: "You only have to meet the requirements of a contract if it is convenient for you!"
44) I filed bankruptcy and it hasn't been discharged yet so I'll just call my lawyer and have him add you to the list.
45) My bankruptcy file # is... No, you weren't on the claim but my lawyer will add you.
46) I'm an unemployed debt collector who has worked for everyone from the IRS, NYS Taxation to City Marshals, lawyers, and collection agencies--gotta job buddy?
47) I don't remember creating that bill! Therefore, I shouldn't have to pay for it.
48) Your check went in the phone company envelope by mistake. You must have their check. Please sort it out with them.
49) Since you have already reported it to the credit bureau, I may as well wait till it drops off.
50) I have AIDS and I am dying.
51) According to the FDCPA you can't call me at work... But sir this is a commercial debt of your business not covered by the FDCPA..Well call me at home then, I can't talk about this in front of my employees.
52) If I pay you, then I won't have any money to pay my current bills.
53) My mother had a brain annurism. I am her sole provider and I am unable to work. True excuse!
54) The chopper crashed and I lost my wallet.
55) My girlfriends are real expensive, and you'd never dress like them no matter how much money I sent you.
56) I don't give a ____ about you. What can you do? Put me in jail for not paying?
57) You can't get blood from a stone!!
58) You can't get blood from a turnip!
59) Went to have my palm read and the lady said I had a very short life line, so I figured I'm going to die very soon, so why bother...
60) Well, what about the $500.00 you owe ABC Company? "What $500.00!? I only owe them $200.00"!
61) My dad, brother, nephew, son, two cousins, and my self are all named so and so. This must be one of their bills.
62) I never open anything from anyone asking for money.
63) The military sent me to war and they wouldn't deliver my pay check on the battle field.
64) I've been on vacation for the past 3 months and I haven't had time to see my bills...
65) Things are hard right now. The only asset I can liquidate is my car which I need to go to work.
66) I had credit disability insurance, but rather than pay, they wrote me off as a loss... where's a lawyer?
67) "I'm sorry, I have the check right here in my wallet, 'cause I'd forgotten to mail it."
68) "I don't care about credit on Earth, as long as I've got credit in Heaven."
69) When I filled the balloons you sold me with helium, they all floated away, so I'm not paying you.
70) You're looking for payment of a July invoice? (gails of laughter) We're just starting to pay last December's invoices.
71) My ex-wife took it to get even at me.
72) Aliens abducted it!
73) My mother fell out of my car in route to pay my bill.
74) My dog ate it.
75) Mr. So and So didn't pay me for the contract work you subcontracted out from me so I can't pay you.
76) My sick grandmother needs a cornea transplant. I gave her the money so she can read her Bible.
77) I have just been shot by an intruder. I am losing blood quickly. Can you call back later?
78) We didn't know we had a contract with your company... YES, we requested services... YES, you performed those services... YES, we have your invoice, but we're not going to pay it because we didn't know we contracted with you!
79) I only pay the "good" bills!
80) I am so offended that they referred their best customer to an agency, I simply refuse to pay.
81) Paying bills is against my religious beliefs.
82) I asked for a "massage" but all I got was a massage!
83) I'm not paying because you called my job.
84) Can't pay this 6 month old bill because I've been out of work for 4 years.
85) I quit my job... I've been on vacation.
86) She's not home, she went to Vegas.
87) My bookkeeper had an accident, she was trying to put on a sports bra, sprained her neck, and has to wear a cervical collar so she can't look down to fill out checks.
88) You spoke to me in a hateful manner, so I'm not paying.
89) You don't deal in real money, it's all on the computer.
90) I don't remember... I don't know.. I don't care... I don't.
91) Your interest is too high.
92) I'm behind?!?! ..Well, why didn't you call sooner?!?!
93) My septic tank backed up and had to be replaced.
94) I'm on disability due to: stress, being overweight, PMS.
95) I'm an illegal immigrant, my soc sec # is wrong and my name is not O'hara, not even the INS knows where I am and I'm moving so try to find me.
96) The bank my money was in, got robbed.
97) I can't take a message, my wife left me and took the pencil with her.
98) Its only money. The IRS gets most of it and I do like to eat.
99) It wore out before it was supposed to, so I'm not going to pay anymore!
100) My wife had an affair with my banker and decided to bounce my checks just like he did her.
101) I'm falling....and I can't get up!!
With thanks to
Total Recall Message Center, Inc. [www.trmcweb.com]
This website has been suspended awaiting long overdue payment of their account
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10.09.2009 в 16:47-
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10.09.2009 в 22:28